he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
