please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
