if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm passing your future prison.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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