dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
