um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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