Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
