He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
