so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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