Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
