is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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