i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
