he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
