Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
