Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
