So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
