I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
