this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
