Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize