just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
