So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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