ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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