that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
