I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
