You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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