i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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