the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
