Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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