i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
