I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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