Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize