There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
