I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
