Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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