Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
