I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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