I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
