as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
