Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
