This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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