no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
