Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
