my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
