All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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