If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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