As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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