So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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