she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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