i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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