she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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