so that wasnt chicken after all
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
