Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
