So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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