Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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