your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
the liver wants what the liver wants
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
