Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Mom said you looked used
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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