She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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