mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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