You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
