someone threw a dead crab at me
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
