It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
