Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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